5 Common Mistakes People With Aging Parents Make

1. Avoiding the discussion of alternative livingseveral times a week during the day, then have a
arrangements for your parents.caregiver stay over nights and family members
It is important to be proactive concerning this! It is sosupplement the other times if needed. The possibilities
much easier and less confrontational to start thisare endless to customize a plan that is just right for
process early and often. If you start early havingyour situation.
discussions about options and choices, you can be4. Not getting help until the last minute.
much more low key about it.This is a big one. If you wait until Mom is schedule to
If you wait until after Mom has fallen and broken hercome home tomorrow from a hospital stay, it will be
hip, the pressure is on and the emotions are high. Atextremely difficult to make good, rational decisions in
that point you are pressed for time to find answerssuch a short time. Trying to develop a good plan of
quickly.care under such stress will be overwhelming.
2. Being in the dark about your parents financialMy advice is to do your homework sooner rather than
situation.later. It's never too early to start to search out a few
Know whether or not they have a long term careagencies or facilities, find ones you are comfortable
policy. If so, you should know where it is and makewith and start building a relationship with them. You can
sure it's easily accessible. Also, take some time to readeven arrange a visit for you and/or your parents to a
through it so you know what it does and does notfacility or have someone come to your home for an
cover.assessment. This way, if an emergency occurs, you'll
If your parents do not have long term care in place, dobe reaching out to people you are comfortable with
you know what other financial resources are availableand are familiar with your loved one and their situation.
if needed? Perhaps a visit with a lawyer to talk about5. Looking at cost alone when deciding on care.
Medicaid eligibility and spend down rules would beThis can go both ways. There are very expensive
worthwhile. And if one of your parents is a Veteran,nursing home facilities that have very poor track
see if they are eligible to get coverage for certainrecords of care. Don't be swayed by fancy brochures,
services.videos or tours. Try and talk to some of the actual
3. Automatically thinking "nursing home" when one orresidents and their loved ones.
both parents health starts to fail.As for home care, be very careful about choosing the
There are no shortage of options around these days."cheapest" hourly rate. Remember that good
If your parent is resolute about staying in their owncaregivers demand to be paid more. Good homecare
home, it is very possible to arrange for care there.agencies cannot offer the best caregivers AND be
There are also ways to be very creative aboutthe cheapest. Also ask to meet and approve of any
combining several modalities of care. For instance, acaregiver before they start care.
family might have their father go to adult day care